Tales of the Parodyverse

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ag's Dancer Week Story
Tue Aug 31, 2004 at 08:36:53 pm EDT
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Darts
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The rain outside pelts the mansion windows heavily.
“Crap.” Carl Bastion, dressed in his Trickshot costume, exclaims as he eyes where the dart hit the board. “Total crap. No way you could make that bullseye!”
“Come now Tricky. Why wouldn’t that count?” asks Dancer, his opponent here in the Lair Legion Rec Room, “You wouldn’t be against my shot because I’m a girl, would you?”
“No, but I think you’re cheatin’. You’re using your probability altering powers on the game, aren’t ya?”
“Now would it be fair if I played with out them but you were able to use your skill? Where’s the fairness in that?” she challenged.
“Point. Alright then. So it’s my skill verses your luck, for all th’ marbles.” Tricky rips a piece off one of the curtains and ties it around his eyes. “Beat this.” He holds back the dart in perfect position and throws it. It strikes the bullseye next to Dancer’s dart.
“Pretty good. My turn.” She pirouettes and lets it fly the opposite direction. It bounces off the pool ball that Visionary was about to shoot in his game against Falcon. This action makes the ball hit four other balls into their pockets.
Falcon: “Doesn’t count!”
Visionary: “It was a real score dammit!”
The dart bounces up then it is swatted by the ceiling fan right into the bullseye.
Dancer: “Next?”
Trickshot: “What? Did she do it?” he takes the blindfold off, “Huh. Ok, fine.” He replaces the blindfold, jumps up, does a somersault, spins on the floor and throws it. It knocks his first dart off the board.
Dancer spins then let’s fly far to the right. It bounces off dull thud’s Radio/CD player, changing the station to old Sinatra tunes much to the groaning protest of it’s owner, then rips through the picture of Magenta St Evil on Mr. Epitome’s newspaper then it bounces off his chest and towards a wall then bounces back onto the board, knocking off her last dart. “How’s that?”
This time Tricky had kept the blindfold off to witness it. “Alright, alright. I see you’re point. Let’s do a different target.”
Dancer, smirking: “Like?”
Tricky grabs an arrow in a blur, lifts his bow that was at his side, pulls and let’s fly. It rips right through the apple in Hatman’s hand (“HEY!” he shouts while getting splattered with apple) then takes the fruit with it by shear force straight past Nats shocked eyes. As it flies by the apple grazes the flying phenomenon’s forehead, knocking him over the foose ball table. He lies there unconscious.
Dancer: “Bill?”
Tricky: “He’s fine. Wait for it.”
The arrow smashes into Mr. Epitome’s chest (“Will you people STOP doing that?”), breaking but the apple bounces back.
Nats starts to stir but...
Nats: “What happened? Jay and I were playing foose ball and..”
KALONCK!
Nats falls over as the apple that just hit him goes strait up into the air and lands on his head. He’s out cold.
“Betcha can’t nail the apple.”
Dancer laughs then aims her dart. She does a great twirl then lets it fly backwards. Visionary had left the room to get a sandwich. As he walked in the door Dancer’s dart ripped through the bottom of his trench (NO! First Flapjack uses one now this! I’m going to run out!) then bounces off the floor behind him then up against the pool table leg then off that up to Falcon’s harness then bounces up to the ceiling then down bounces off Jay’s cap, it flips three times in the air then goes straight into the apple.
Tricky claps, replaces the blindfold, and then lets his dart fly. It rips through Dancer’s dart, breaking the apple in two on Bill’s head.
Nats: “Wha? Why am I covered in apple?”
Hatman, still wiping off remains: “Join the club.”
Dancer: “Ok. Very good. Last one.”
Everyone except Tricky, Dancer and the indifferent Manga Shoggoth and CrazySurgarFreakBoy! (Who are indifferent because they are engrossed in an anime cartoon) cheer.
Dancer glares at the rest: “As I was saying, last one to get the bullseye wins our bet.”
Tricky: “And the bullseye would be?”
Dancer: “Pegasus tail..”
CrazySurgarFreakBoy! speak up, looking around with excitement: “Pegasus tail?”
Dancer: “On her picture! Honestly! You go first Tricky.”
Tricky doesn’t replace the blindfold but leaves it off: “Alright. I’ll try you’re thing.” He twirls around in a happy dance that makes Yo giggle then throws it. It rips through the air towards the designated target like a bullet. Rabito jumps in the way and everyone holds their breath. It zips through the thin space between the purple rabbit’s ears and the thought bunny hits it with his back paws. It lands in the mass of substance that is the Shoggoth’s “head”.
Manga Shoggoth: “Interesting. Metal, bird feathers. Could do for some paprika though.”
Tricky: “NO FAIR! If Yo’s bunny…”
Dancer: “Sorry Tricky but the shot counts.”
Tricky: “For all we know Yo could’ve thought..”
Yo, stroking the purple thought bunny: “Yo thinks uncute Tricky should to be being nicer when throwing pointy pointys. Uncute Tricky almost hit cute Rabito!”
Red faced Tricky: “SEE? She made it miss!”
Dancer, with a smirk, aims her last dart at the picture of Pegasus: “Yo didn’t say that. I think you’re just trying to get out of our bet.” She twirls beautifully then lets it fly. Instead of it going towards the picture it goes towards the big screen TV. It bounces off the screen, up to the ceiling fan, gets carried by the fan and let loose through the olive on top of Visionary’s sandwich. It carried the olive in the air then heads straight for Jay’s head. With a trained fluid motion Hatman pulls his Pittsburg Steelers cap up and on his head turning to steel. The dart harmlessly bounces off his nose and straight for the jamming dull thud who has his eyes closed, enjoying his music. The olive however goes straight for Nats’ eye. (GAARRGGHA! IT STINGS!)
Dancer: “Ooops! Sorry!”
The dart changes thud’s CD/Radio to show tunes (“Och! I don’t wanna be listening to…West Side Story?”) then bounces off Mr. Epitome’s butt (“THAT does it! I’m heading to the showers!” Dancer smiles) then heads straight for the distracted CSFB! who, without looking, knocks it away with his Yo-Yo.
It then bounces off Nats groin which, when he doesn’t appear hurt, Falcon shouts “Why the heck are you wearing a cup?” “Why do you think?” Nats replies while still rubbing his red eye.
It then finds it’s destination on the tail.
Tricky: “Oh sure! I still say you’re cheatin’!”
Dancer: “You know the bet Tricky. You get to clean out Space Ghost’s closet.”
Tricky: “Lets do another. See if..”
Dancer: “Sorry. I think I’ll go check on my good friend Sarah. Bet stands.” She leaves.
Tricky also leaves while grumbling.
Hatman: “No way, under ANY circumstances, are we to allow those two near the darts. Agreed?”
Everyone nods in the affirmative.
The couch below the picture of Pegasus has movement behind it. spiffy pops his head out from behind it and asks, “Is it safe?”
The dart loosened the picture just enough that it falls on the Ferned Wonder’s head.


The End.


a.g.
Amazing Guy






Scott?s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!), Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!), and JLA Micros (The entire JLA, as micro heroes!)



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